HOLDysburg Address

Four score and seven years ago (or thereabouts), _ put a hold on a book in the Library.
Now it is my esteemed pleasure to inform you that that book, so conceived and so dedicated, is ready to be checked out. We are met on a great landscape called the Internet. We have come to the portion of this message where I tell you that s/he has until DATE to pick up this volume. It is altogether fitting and proper that I should do this.

@JarrettLWilson

Edgar Allen HOLD

Thus I sat engaged in typing an e-mail for expressing
To the teacher, whose fiery eyes now burned into the monitor;
This and more I sat divining, hoping _ would come seeking
A book held for him/her at the library of Piner,
But, unless he/she picks up the book by DATE will be passed o'er
He/She shall have a chance to check it out, ah, nevermore! (Or until it’s checked in, whichever comes first)

@JarrettLWilson

Ransom Hold

wE hAvE _'s BoOk, SeNd HeR bY _, oR THe bOok wILL bE SlEepINg wITh ThE FiSHeS, SeE (iF BOOkS sLepT). 



@JarrettLWilson

An Alien Transmission, roughly translated

adhas;lhcsaklhvclskjhclk;sahnc HOLD FOR (STUDENT NAME) hakjhvkjads vjkashvkja dhv jkdahvk jdahv ad PICK UP BY (DATE) jkhl kdsh fkje ahvkjasdhf ea.

Fhdafjsljkfhkjeafsakf,
Jarrett

P.S. kjdjdk vaslkjv sd;lkjvds vlsdkjvkl;zdj klvkdj; glkje

@JarrettLWilson

The Hold Before Christmas

This one is not quite as dense as the last one, and it's a bit more festive being so close to Christmas -


Twas the night before today, when all through the school
Not a creature was stirring, because it was night-time you fool!
The books were all shelved in the library with care,
In hopes that patrons soon would be there.

The reserved books were nestled all snug on their shelf,
books about the military,  wimpy kids and even an elf
The next day, before the patron forgot,
she stopped by the library and put her book in the slot.

The book was scanned and, lo and behold,
_ had come in earlier to put that very book on hold!
To get this book, she has until _, three days from today,
if she has fines be sure she has money to pay.


@JarrettLWilson

HOLDerbury Tales

1: Whan this message with its words soote
2: The and three days hath perced to the roote,
3: And bathed every veyne in swich licour
4: Of which vertu engendred is the flour;
5: Whan _ eek with their sweete breeth
6: Inspired hath in every holt and heeth
7: Tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne
8: rises on _, the hold's cours is yronne,
9: And smale foweles maken melodye,

Chaucerily,
Jarrett


@JarrettLWilson

Intro and a reading from HOLDmer

As library assistant, part of my job is to email reading teachers when a student has a book ready to be checked out. I started off writing simple “so-and-so has a book ready in the library he/she needs to pick it up by such and such date.” I quickly grew bored with this arrangement and started to write long-winded and convoluted messages, often based on famous writings from a multitude of genres. I really enjoyed writing them, I would like for you to enjoy reading them. That said, I present to you “SiLiMes” (Silly Library Messages). I have omitted the names of students, teachers and the dates, this information has been her place with a _.

This first one is called "A Reading from HOLDmer"
Sing to me of the student, Ms. _, the student named _ that will come to the hallowed library of Piner Middle School to pick up a volume held in his name. Be sure he descends upon the room full of books on or before _ or Hermes will fly on his winged feet and take the book to the next name on the list!


@JarrettLWilson